Bystander, Yes. But Innocent?

What ever happened to shame? What ever happened to public shows of disapproval? What ever happened to shunning people who behave badly? I suppose these things have all been swept under the rug of, "Who am I to judge," "It's none of my business what someone else does in their personal life," and similar evasive, spineless rationales.

But when one person stands witness to the wrongdoing of another and turns a blind eye to it, that witness is broadcasting the message that as far as the witness is concerned, what the wrongdoer has done is perfectly acceptable. The witness is also sending a message to the wrongdoer: "I don't have any problem with what you've done, or with you." Such witnesses are practically accomplices to the wrongdoing, since they facilitate it through their silence, inaction, and tacit approval.

Certainly, each witness has limits. Perhaps he'd stay mum about his child's school teacher telling off another parent's child in inappropriate terms and at an excessive volume level, but would most definitely speak up to the teacher or school administrators if it were his child on the receiving end of the tirade.

Perhaps she'd keep quiet about a neighbor's failure to clean up after his dog on another neighbor's lawn, but would confront that dog owner if he dared allow his dog to relieve itself on her lawn.

There are plenty of public offenses far worse than these, with plenty of blind eyes being turned to them. And our society is the worse for it.

In so greatly desiring to avoid saying anything to, or about, the wrongdoer, the witness is instead saying something about him- or herself. What the witness is saying is, in effect, "I'm a coward who won't stand up for anyone but myself, and won't look out for anyone's interests but my own. So long as that other person isn't harming me or my interests, I don't care what he or she does. The community is on its own."

But what is a community, if a not a group of people with shared goals, resources and values? Isn't community supposed to be about looking out for one another?

If a person thinks it would be wrong for someone to steal from him, then he should be just as adamant that it's wrong for someone to steal from other members of his community, and he should be invested in seeing that it doesn't go unnoticed when it happens.

If a person thinks it's wrong for the kid who's taking her daughter to the prom to drive drunk, she should be just as interested in making it known to her family, friends, co-workers and neighbors that she has a problem with any of them driving drunk, too.

Whether a witness is aware of an abusive parent, a drunk-driving friend, a date-raping college roommate, a cheating spouse, a litterbug neighbor, an openly racist co-worker or the actions of any other wrongdoer within her sphere, in remaining silent she's actually saying quite a lot---and everything she's saying is about herself, not the wrongdoer.

If the witness's convictions are so flimsy that he's unwilling to assert them, they're hardly convictions at all. At best, they're preferences. So when someone steals from him, lets their dog use his lawn as a toilet, makes a racist remark about him, cheats with his spouse, or drives drunk and plows into his garage or family members, he should take it in stride. After all, he merely preferred that none of these things happen to him, and never cared at all if they happened to other people.