Better Things

I'm feeling SOOO much better since that last post, and I have some IRL (In Real Life) friends, cyber friends, colleagues, family members and the commenters on this blog to thank for it.

Sandee brought over a lovely dinner basket with her homemade spaghetti sauce and lots of other goodies over a week ago, but since I just enjoyed the second jar of sauce I'd like to thank her again. With me just getting by from day to day, barely having the energy to get to the supermarket, never mind cooking anything, the gift was appreciated both in the practical and emotional sense. Sandee's clearly one of those ladies who can show her love through cooking, and I definitely felt it.

My tough and level-headed but sweet friend Karin took me to the Renaissance Faire on Saturday. It was my first day out in weeks, and neither the weather nor company could've been better. I used to love the Faire as a teenager, but since getting married and having kids, I haven't had the same kind of Faire experience as back in the day. Saturday was like a refreshing blast from the past, with Karin generously encouraging me to do whatever I liked. Luckily, we both particularly enjoy the shows at Faire, as well as browsing the artisan booths---more to admire the craftsmanship than to buy, for the most part, though I did pick up a couple of small items for my kids and a beautiful piece of pottery crafted by Jon Price.

It's a lovely, wide-mouthed vase with a sunny, multi-colored glaze. The first picture shows the entire vase, though it's a little fuzzy. The closeups show details of the glazing at the mouth of the vase, and at the base.




It has all the colors of the rainbow in it, and because of the glazing technique, looks like it's covered in a combination of multicolored flowers, dandelions and fireworks. The blue-green parts toward the bottom remind me of Monet's Waterlilies, and the brighter parts at the top remind me of the work of Roger Dean. (Go ahead and feel free to click the links - images will open in a new window)

Dean designed most of the album covers for Yes, one of my favorite prog-rock bands from high school to this day. This one little piece of pottery encompasses so much beauty and warm nostalgia for me, it makes me happy just to look at it sitting on the shelf in my room. But because of its association with things I loved in my youth, it also very nearly conjures my 17 year old self back into being when I admire it.

And were it not for Karin's offer to take me to the Faire, I wouldn't have this gorgeous little oasis of well-being. So thank you, Karin. Thank you so very much.

The evening after my day at Faire, I called Ken, a very dear friend I first met as a freshman in high school. We'd gotten back in touch on Facebook some months back, but hadn't truly reconnected. Ken reached out to me when he learned about my recent troubles and invited me to call anytime. Since he's also divorced now and has children close in age to my own, I figured he'd be a great source of much-needed advice. But he's so much more than that.

We talked for close to three hours, and amazingly, it was as if we'd only been out of touch for a few days instead of over 27 years. He's the same funny, kind, honest and warm Ken he was back then, but now he's a lot wiser to boot---and I mean moreso than the wisdom that naturally comes with age. We compared notes, we reminisced, we talked about Big Issues and small things. By the end of that long talk, I felt more authentically me than I have in years. More importantly, I felt my authentic self was valued. It's a feeling that has yet to fade, and for that, I owe Ken more gratitude than I can express in words.

Then, of course, there's my stalwart rock of a friend, Paula. She's been right there with me through all the ups and downs, just one town over and never further away than a phone call. She's been going through some stuff of her own lately, and still finds it in her heart and schedule to be there for me in my time of most dire need. Paula was happy to hear I had plans to go out this weekend, and happier still to hear how my day went afterward. Paula, I love you and hope that very soon, I'll be pulled together enough to reciprocate for you.

Sunday, I spent some time cleaning out my email inbox. Doing so gave me occasion to look back over the many, many supportive emails I've received in the past few weeks. This definitely helped to keep the good feelings going. I could easily fill another two paragraphs just reciting the names of all these thoughtful friends, acquaintances, colleagues and even some total strangers, but you all know who you are. I'd also like you to know how much I've appreciated your messages of hope and concern. There were many days when your uplifting energy was the only thing keeping me afloat, because heaven knows I didn't have it in me to get through this alone.

I also get email notifications when someone leaves a comment on one of my blogs, and those small packages of caring have meant a great deal, too. In recent weeks, I've often felt like someone trying to cross a raging river by leaping from exposed stone to exposed stone. The comments of my blog readers are some of the largest and most stable stones I've had while making the crossing. Thanks to all of you, as well.

This brings me to today. Today, I reserved the domain http://www.indieauthorguide.com/. I've long been planning to create a companion website to go with the book when it comes out this fall, but recent circumstances have delayed any actual activity on that front. It's just a baby step, reserving the domain. I still need to build the site. But amazingly, instead of feeling daunted and overwhelmed at the prospect of such a big project (as has been typical for me of late), I'm excited about this and looking forward to it. There are some other large-ish projects I've promised to others that I'll need to finish first, but I'm feeling very positive about them, too.

Besides the welcome industry on tap for me this week, I'm looking forward to my usual Wednesday night screening with another close friend, Erin. She and I started our screenings by watching both seasons of Carnivale, one episode at a time. When that was over we switched to Dexter. Erin's concern and caring have been very important to me, but so has keeping to our Wednesday night routine. In a world where nothing seems to be where I left it or expected it anymore, routines have become surprisingly crucial. I'll see you Wednesday, Erin. Thanks for keeping on keeping on.

I know my separation and divorce aren't finished with me yet. There's still plenty of ick, why me, no effing way, you gotta be kidding me, and oh god when will this be over in store. There's divorce proceedings, selling the house, buying a new home and moving, none of which will be fun. There's a lot of other stuff involving my kids, ex and family members which I'm not writing about here, too.

But I've felt really good, and really okay, for four whole days now. And it's all because, in one way or another, this is the message with which I've been so generously surrounded:




Here's hoping four days turns into five. And then six. And then, maybe, a whole week.